Tick...tick...tick....tick....

Just under two weeks and counting now. 2.0 in there routinely gives a good and vigorous outward boot on many an occasion. Baby's completely healthy and in position for launch, or so the docs say. Room's ready. Emergency plans for work are prepared. Pretty much everything is set, in fact.

....except that 2.0 isn't coming out yet. I'm actually discovering that THIS - the waiting - is by far the most difficult part of the whole experience since the first trimester. At work, phone rings, heart races. Anywhere, cell rings, pulse pounds. Is this it? Is it time? Are we going?

No. Someone needs to go to the office. Amy's just calling to tell me about her day. Which is all well and good, don't get me wrong, but geez. Imagine someone telling you that sometime very soon, you're going to win a whole LOT of money. Not a wee bit, mind you. A life-changing, jaw-dropping, you-thought-Susan-Boyle-was-a-shock-then-check-this-sized amount. You just don't know quite when. Soon. Very soon. In a week or two. Now.... continue your normal life please. Pretend all is well. Do not think unduly on it.

Yeah. RIGHT.

Because that's realistic. Honest. Fellas, gotta tell ya - when you're waiting to be a dad, WAITING can be the most unpleasant part. So I'm reading a lot, playing games a lot, trying to keep my mind occupied as much as possible, all while keeping one ear out for the blood-curdling shriek (those please dear lord maybe not QUITE that) that will signal the process has begun. The immediate effect of this is that I get bored and irritated with most of my hobbies really quickly, and I'm ping-ponging around like mad. Don't want to get any involved projects going, 'cause, y'know... could happen. Don't want to go anywhere particularly far away cause, y'know...could happen.

Eh. Can't make this post too long...

Cause..y'know.

(Could happen.)

-MT out.

The Red Zone

So here we are. Just under four weeks left until May 1. The probability of 2.0's arrival now becomes statistically more significant with each passing day.  I'm starting to look forward to it, though I still dread the actual frantic drive and hollering wife part. I think Amy's pretty much in the same place. She's getting somewhat uncomfortable, but still taking it like an amazing friggin champ. Her complaints are rare and when they come, singular - no whining at all. How did I get this lucky?

So I find myself doing some - but not all - of the things I used to roll my eyes at other guys doing. Making goofy faces at kids, grinning and winking at them, and so on. I refuse to use baby talk now or ever, though - I'm of the opinion that baby talk is simply most people's way of getting around the fact that they don't have enough voice inflection to get a kid's interest. I'd rather the kid get used to the way people really talk, thanks.

I think the nine months of various stresses really does give one time to prepare for the notion of fatherhood, provided you actually DO spend some time thinking on it.  Some guys probably just block it all out until the last minute, I figure. Or maybe not - I don't know how many dads drop the ball bigtime in the fatherhood, but I've heard a lot of dads move on or generally don't step up for the role model bit. That kinda confuses me, because it seems like you miss out on the good stuff that way. Sure, creating the baby is plenty fun (heh, heh) but then the next nine months, not so much. I guess maybe the fellas who duck out don't see what comes after that as fun either, but I dunno - the teacher in me sees it as a chance to really make what you figure is the best possible person. Sure, it's not that easy, and yes, other inputs apply... but still. We all have a good idea of what we figure someone ought to be, right? And isn't raising a kid about aiming for that mark?

Meh. I dunno. I told myself when things reached "4 weeks to go" I'd write this Red Zone thing and talk about how I felt knowing that literally anytime from here out - including while I write this sentence - Amy could walk in and throw car keys at me with a wild look in her eye. Not so much drama anymore, though. More a calm, waiting acceptance. It's coming. Soon. There'll be stress and much flailing of limbs, and then 2.0 will be here. I'm kinda eager to get on with it. People always say "You always think you're ready but you never are"... but then again, I've spent my whole life violating those axioms of mediocrity, depression, and downtrodenness. 

I'm ready. Let's get this show on the road.

-MT out